Top 10 Quotes by Mark Twain

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The human race is a race of cowards; and I am not only marching in that procession but carrying a banner.

There is no such thing as the Queen's English. The property has gone into the hands of a joint stock company and we own the bulk of the shares!

Good judgement is the result of experience and experience the result of bad judgement.

Most of the things I worried about in life never happened.

When in doubt tell the truth.

A dozen direct censures are easier to bear than one morganatic compliment.

You thunder and lightning too much; the reader ceases to get under the bed, by and by.

The country is the real thing, the substantial thing, the eternal thing, it is the thing to watch over and care for and be loyal to; institutions are extraneous. . . .

If there are no cigars in heaven, I shall not go.

Few things are more irritating than when someone who is wrong is also very effective in making his point.

We had the sky up there, all speckled with stars, and we used to lay on our backs and look up at them, and discuss about whether they was made, or only just happened - Jim he allowed they was made, but I allowed they happened; I judged it would have took too long to make so many. Jim said the moon c

The reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated.

Circumstance - which moves by laws of its own, regardless of parties and policies, and whose decrees are final and must be obeyed by all - and will be

...Man is a marvelous curiosity. When he is at his very very best he is a sort of low grade nickel-plated angel; at his worst he is unspeakable, unimaginable; and first and last and all the time he is a sarcasm. Yet he blandly and in all sincerity calls himself the 'noblest work of God.'

When your watch gets out of order you have choice of two things to do: throw it in the fire or take it to the watch-tinker. The former is the quickest.

I like Joan of Arc best of all my books; and it is the best; I know it perfectly well.

Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.

There are several good protections against temptation, but the surest is cowardice.

I have always been rather better treated in San Francisco than I actually deserved.

Tough times teach trust.

Loyalty to the country always. Loyalty to the government when it deserves it.

It was wonderful to find America, but it would have been more wonderful to miss it.

Do not fear the enemy, for your enemy can only take your life. It is far better that you fear the media, for they will steal your HONOR. That awful power, the public opinion of a nation, is created in America by a horde of ignorant, self-complacent simpletons who failed at ditching and shoemaking an

I asked Tom if countries always apologized when they had done wrong, and he says - "Yes; the little ones does".

Man is a Religious Animal. He is the only Religious Animal. He is the only animal that has the True Religion - several of them.

In forgiving, people are not being asked to forget. On the contrary, it is important to remember, so that we should not let such atrocities happen again. Forgiveness does not mean condoning what has been done. It means taking what happened seriously...drawing out the sting in the memory that threate

There are some books that refuse to be written. They stand their ground year after year and will not be persuaded. It isn't because the book is not there and worth being written -- it is only because the right form of the story does not present itself. There is only one right form for a story and if

A German joke is no laughing matter.

Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.

It is not best to use our morals weekdays, it gets them out of repair for Sunday.

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